Post by Captain Divvy on Jun 23, 2005 17:52:37 GMT -5
Me: hello and welcome to the main event match of the er.......afternoon. i am Captain div and on ringside with me is the famous miss daisy!!!
Steve Dave: Hello everybody, and why do i bother, he's going to get my name wrong. WHY? My name is steve dave not daisy okay DIV!
Me: Thats just super nahasapenapetalon. Today's match consists of two people. The king of nerds and the maddest nutter in town. Now i've heard from a reliable source that this nutter is from the maddest loony bin in town..........Dudley. He is as mad as a soft boiled potatoe. But can he win against the nerd? we shall see.
Steve dave: What? that doesnt even sound anything like steve dave! *sigh* the nerd comes straight from the local library and is from our fine local high school. Ofcourse it has been closed down due to snobby lil kids.
Me: okay, my personal choice will be the the nutter. He's mad and he'll let out his anger on that nerd like a bull to a red............thing. Whats your thuahgt davina mccall?
Steve dave: *crying* i have to agree with you on this one this nerd is turly going to get killed. I hope his mother is watching or he might have to call an abilence with his twenty english pence that his mother gave for extreme emergencies.
Me: well thats our thoughts let's get get there info.....But first a word from our sponsers.
Captain Div Inc. proud sponsers of silly and poitnless matches like these. First there was the wheel, Then there was fire.....now Captain Divvy Inc. has the next revoloutionary thing..........the glass bottle of air! Real air, in a real glass bottle. Genuine glass filled with 100% real english air. It's a product of a thousand uses. This fantastic porduct could be your for £10.99 plus £5 p & p. Order yours now on 01299 555-you-been-had. And now back to the program.
Me: *looking at glass bottle with air in amazment* It really is the product of a thousand uses. It's so brilliant the crowd are going nuts other them.
Crowd: *all quiet, either reading, asleep, watching pocket t.v or patches of emptyness.* *one guy" it's shit, you suck man, you cant sell that crap. BOOOOOOO get a hair cut ya fake pirate freack" bottle gets mysteriously thrown on his head and knocks him out.*
me: ahem and know with the stats. This is a anything goes match folks and first the nerd. He is armed with his trusty flask of warm english tea. He book of stamps. His backback full of nerdy boooks. is packed lunch. He has his deadilly retainer at hand and his inhaler. He is wearing his deadily wooley hat of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. He wears his FAB kagool of DEATH. His seventies brown flares of old granny STENCH, and his nerdy clogs from HELLL! What does the nutter have mary had a lil lamb?
Steve Dave: DAMNIT! Well this nutter is armed with a stuffed sheep, a grannies bag, a pair of underpants on his head, a pair of knickers on, a bucket of sand, a pink glove on and a bottle of hp brwon sauce. Truley terrifiring.
Me: WOOOA. Well thats the chit chat other let's see them begin!
Referee seagull: Firstly in the ring tonite, From all the way of down the road library THE NERD!!!!!
*from the titantron lots of smoke apear and the nerd emerges having a coughing fit. He takes a poof from his inhailer. His nerdy features begin to show up. He looks round and slowly walks to the ring.*
Nerd: excuse me mr referee seagull sir, i've spilt my ear medicine.
Referee seagull: SQUARRK!!
Nerd: AGGH! * a small damp patch emerges in his pants*
Me: oh my god it appeares the tention of my birdy freind has truly got to that nerdling.
Referee seagull: ARRGH SQUARK!! next in the ring tonite from Dudley, the mad as hell nutter.........er....NUTTER!!!!!!!
* a obviously idiotic person in who is almost naked apart from a pink tutu on and a pair of pants on his head emerges from the titantron's fireworks on a trolly, it smashes into the ring and he flies into the ring's centre*
nutter: have you seen my camel?
*bell goes match beings*
me: Well it is, the begining of a rip roaring match emerging between two mental foes. The nutter starts by by screaming like a baboon and making that nerd wet his pants more often then the angel falls gets wet!
Avid merrion do you think he could take much more of this grueling pain?
Steve Dave: AGGGH ENOUGH! no i do not think he can take any of this just as i cant take this bloody job. AGH I QUIT!. * throws microphone equipment to table and walks off. Then monkey man ob swings in to take place*
Me: welcome to this match monkey man bob, how do you feel abou this at the present moment bob?
Monkey man bob: Well div it seems like the nutter is going to grasp the nerd in his slippy clutches and slam him to the ground like a peanut!
* steve dave watching on monitor at home*
Steve dave: WTF? how come he can remember the damn monkeys name? Stupid mother fu......* cuts back to me*
Me: well it seems the nutter has got the nerdling in a head lock and rubbing his fists along his head repeatedly!
Monky man bob: oh my god its the dreaded nugy!!!! Could this be a quick match?
Me: i certainly hope not....OH but whats this? The nerd has got out his stamp collection and hit the nutter over the head........and missed. He tries again and he...........tapped his head like a cissy.
Monkey man bob: he's dead isnt he? oh well. But look the nerd has dropped the stamp collection the the nutters foot!. The nutter is howling like a cow! He's now shaking his head in a nervous twitch.
Me: the nerd is now getting out his dungoin and dragons book and started to read it. The nutter cant stand it. He cant stand such crap! He nutter is on the floor crawling like a baby. But crying like a cow still.
Nerd: mwa hey!
Nutter: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MOOO! MOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Referee Seagull: SQUARK!!!!!!!ARRRRRRRRGH!
Mr Burns: EXCELLENT!!
me: YEARRRRRGH! but enough of that! the nerd is going for the pin. Captain....i mean referee seagull is counting with a 1...........a.................2.........a..............BUT NO!!! The nutter has picked the nerd up like a twig and is.........no has..............OUCH GOOD GOD THAT ISNT ...............
Monkey man bob: The nutter has snapped the nerds back in half. It's all oover for the nerd. Nothing can be done...........
Steve Dave: Hello everybody, and why do i bother, he's going to get my name wrong. WHY? My name is steve dave not daisy okay DIV!
Me: Thats just super nahasapenapetalon. Today's match consists of two people. The king of nerds and the maddest nutter in town. Now i've heard from a reliable source that this nutter is from the maddest loony bin in town..........Dudley. He is as mad as a soft boiled potatoe. But can he win against the nerd? we shall see.
Steve dave: What? that doesnt even sound anything like steve dave! *sigh* the nerd comes straight from the local library and is from our fine local high school. Ofcourse it has been closed down due to snobby lil kids.
Me: okay, my personal choice will be the the nutter. He's mad and he'll let out his anger on that nerd like a bull to a red............thing. Whats your thuahgt davina mccall?
Steve dave: *crying* i have to agree with you on this one this nerd is turly going to get killed. I hope his mother is watching or he might have to call an abilence with his twenty english pence that his mother gave for extreme emergencies.
Me: well thats our thoughts let's get get there info.....But first a word from our sponsers.
Captain Div Inc. proud sponsers of silly and poitnless matches like these. First there was the wheel, Then there was fire.....now Captain Divvy Inc. has the next revoloutionary thing..........the glass bottle of air! Real air, in a real glass bottle. Genuine glass filled with 100% real english air. It's a product of a thousand uses. This fantastic porduct could be your for £10.99 plus £5 p & p. Order yours now on 01299 555-you-been-had. And now back to the program.
Me: *looking at glass bottle with air in amazment* It really is the product of a thousand uses. It's so brilliant the crowd are going nuts other them.
Crowd: *all quiet, either reading, asleep, watching pocket t.v or patches of emptyness.* *one guy" it's shit, you suck man, you cant sell that crap. BOOOOOOO get a hair cut ya fake pirate freack" bottle gets mysteriously thrown on his head and knocks him out.*
me: ahem and know with the stats. This is a anything goes match folks and first the nerd. He is armed with his trusty flask of warm english tea. He book of stamps. His backback full of nerdy boooks. is packed lunch. He has his deadilly retainer at hand and his inhaler. He is wearing his deadily wooley hat of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. He wears his FAB kagool of DEATH. His seventies brown flares of old granny STENCH, and his nerdy clogs from HELLL! What does the nutter have mary had a lil lamb?
Steve Dave: DAMNIT! Well this nutter is armed with a stuffed sheep, a grannies bag, a pair of underpants on his head, a pair of knickers on, a bucket of sand, a pink glove on and a bottle of hp brwon sauce. Truley terrifiring.
Me: WOOOA. Well thats the chit chat other let's see them begin!
Referee seagull: Firstly in the ring tonite, From all the way of down the road library THE NERD!!!!!
*from the titantron lots of smoke apear and the nerd emerges having a coughing fit. He takes a poof from his inhailer. His nerdy features begin to show up. He looks round and slowly walks to the ring.*
Nerd: excuse me mr referee seagull sir, i've spilt my ear medicine.
Referee seagull: SQUARRK!!
Nerd: AGGH! * a small damp patch emerges in his pants*
Me: oh my god it appeares the tention of my birdy freind has truly got to that nerdling.
Referee seagull: ARRGH SQUARK!! next in the ring tonite from Dudley, the mad as hell nutter.........er....NUTTER!!!!!!!
* a obviously idiotic person in who is almost naked apart from a pink tutu on and a pair of pants on his head emerges from the titantron's fireworks on a trolly, it smashes into the ring and he flies into the ring's centre*
nutter: have you seen my camel?
*bell goes match beings*
me: Well it is, the begining of a rip roaring match emerging between two mental foes. The nutter starts by by screaming like a baboon and making that nerd wet his pants more often then the angel falls gets wet!
Avid merrion do you think he could take much more of this grueling pain?
Steve Dave: AGGGH ENOUGH! no i do not think he can take any of this just as i cant take this bloody job. AGH I QUIT!. * throws microphone equipment to table and walks off. Then monkey man ob swings in to take place*
Me: welcome to this match monkey man bob, how do you feel abou this at the present moment bob?
Monkey man bob: Well div it seems like the nutter is going to grasp the nerd in his slippy clutches and slam him to the ground like a peanut!
* steve dave watching on monitor at home*
Steve dave: WTF? how come he can remember the damn monkeys name? Stupid mother fu......* cuts back to me*
Me: well it seems the nutter has got the nerdling in a head lock and rubbing his fists along his head repeatedly!
Monky man bob: oh my god its the dreaded nugy!!!! Could this be a quick match?
Me: i certainly hope not....OH but whats this? The nerd has got out his stamp collection and hit the nutter over the head........and missed. He tries again and he...........tapped his head like a cissy.
Monkey man bob: he's dead isnt he? oh well. But look the nerd has dropped the stamp collection the the nutters foot!. The nutter is howling like a cow! He's now shaking his head in a nervous twitch.
Me: the nerd is now getting out his dungoin and dragons book and started to read it. The nutter cant stand it. He cant stand such crap! He nutter is on the floor crawling like a baby. But crying like a cow still.
Nerd: mwa hey!
Nutter: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MOOO! MOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Referee Seagull: SQUARK!!!!!!!ARRRRRRRRGH!
Mr Burns: EXCELLENT!!
me: YEARRRRRGH! but enough of that! the nerd is going for the pin. Captain....i mean referee seagull is counting with a 1...........a.................2.........a..............BUT NO!!! The nutter has picked the nerd up like a twig and is.........no has..............OUCH GOOD GOD THAT ISNT ...............
Monkey man bob: The nutter has snapped the nerds back in half. It's all oover for the nerd. Nothing can be done...........